If writing was a video game, creativity would be the heart containers. You start with one. The first attempt at writing earns a second. A bucket load of scribbling and half a manuscript earns a few more, etc. The containers empty as you create and when the last is used up you lie helpless on the kitchen floor, waiting for lighting to strike you dead so you may rise once more. Even the most accomplished writers, run out of hearts from time to time – or most of the time.

For example, the other day I read fanfiction for ten hours straight and lost like thirteen hearts – accompanied by an intense desire to write but no stamina to do so. Thankfully, I found a few helpful hints in a handy dark grimoire. By using a few of them, I was able to write my very own fanfiction. I mean novel…it was definitely a novel. I would never write fanfiction.

Helpful Hints From My Dark Grimoire:

1. Bang on some pots. Are you a quarter of a heart away from death and extinction? If so, an emergency nap is in order. Tell your mother to bang a pot or two in your direction in twenty minutes and go to sleep. You will wake up just as you have managed to go to doze off and will resent her for the rest of the hour until you realize your brooding restored one heart.
2. Sacrifice a chicken. You did not forget to eat. The unpleasant hollowness in your stomach reached your awareness four hours ago, but you postponed lunch so you could browse Tumblr for five more minutes. Several hours later, you decided preparing food was too much work and ate a bag of chips instead. Now you are full and cranky. Fix it immediately by consuming half a chicken and a couple of steaks. Your powers will be fully restored, but you will still feel like shit.
3. Travel to the beyond. You have been thinking all day. Stop it. Nothing drains hearts faster than thinking about writing. Close your eyes and think of nothing at all until you reach the Land of Absolute Boredom. Endure it for at least twenty seconds, then open your eyes. A heart or two will materialize and you will find writing either incredibly easy or feel an intense need to redecorate.
4. Throw all your writing paraphernalia on the floor. Manuscripts, scraps of artsy scribbles, crumbled up paper from the trash. Fling yourself on top of it all and bask in the creative aura. Absorb it into your soul. All your hearts will be restored and you will write for at least ten hours straight.

If none of these brilliant solutions worked for you, I don’t know what to say. Maybe get a cat or something.

Goodnight,

Lizzy

P.S. Please direct all complaints to the comment section below.