There comes a time in the life of all secret writers when Others give Advice.

Run away.

Such guidance inevitably leads to the Trap of Being Who You Are Supposed to Be – the worst of all fates.

Advice is not intrinsically bad. It could even provoke inspiration. However, nine times out of ten, it fuels doubtful motivations such as Money, Fame, & Success.

Of course, we all know the only motivations that actually work are banana pudding, naps, and drinkable yogurt. All other motivations lead directly to DOOM.

DOOM has a talent for disguise. It looks so cheerful, benevolent, simple.

• Do X, Y, & Z and you will SUCCEED
• Do A, B, & C and you will FAIL

Here’s a secret: X, Y, & Z are boring as shit; A, B, & C are the shit.

Life is a trap. This is a pessimistic, but fun, outlook. To look upon humanity, so full of hope and wonder, and know that everything is shit, always has been shit, and always will be full of shit. A comfortable reality really. If you don’t like it, pick a new one.

Everyone has their own realities. I get tired of mine infrequently, so I throw them into a trash fire and buy new ones.

What does this have to do with writing? What the hell is a secret writer?

I have no idea.