Choosing character names is frustrating. You watch your novel take its first steps full of joy and wonder. Then a nameless character shows up and spoils the fun. You use placeholders. Underscores. Generic names (John. Mary. Joanne, anyone?). But “M____ stabs B____ in the heart and watches his soul slowly drain from his body” doesn’tContinue reading “The Top 5 Name Sites for Writers (and Expectant Parents Probably)”
Plot doesn’t matter. No, really. It doesn’t. Write mindless stories. Character A gets out of bed and eats breakfast. The end. Boring. Now, the same event, but Character A has an existential crisis after getting out of bed. The fluffy purple rug on the floor reminds them of their grandmother, who’s favorite color was purple.Continue reading “It’s Not Important: Ignore Plot”
Nine times out of ten, Advice fuels doubtful motivations such as Money, Fame, & Success. Of course, we all know the only motivations that actually work are banana pudding, naps, and drinkable yogurt. All other motivations lead directly to DOOM.
Prior to domestication, writers command a distinct self with particularities and talents. Somewhere along this blissful path, their souls are squashed by the Inevitable Plague of the Life Crisis. The realization of what one should be dawns.
If writing was a video game, would creativity be the heart containers? A dark grimoire reveals four spells that restore creativity, but at what cost?
This guide will aid in proper selection of music to get your creatives juices flowing at their finest.
Muses. Champions of the arts. A misunderstood species thanks to Greek historians and Walt Disney. Muses are all around us. There is probably one in the closet under your stairs, the dusty tea kettle on your shelf, or the pocket of your favorite jacket. Long ago humans were so terrified of muses, they enlisted theContinue reading “Muses and Where to Find Them”
Lying on the floor wedged between the bend in the couch and the corner of the coffee table, the dry scent of 10,000 dust mites engulfed my senses. Eyes closed, writing close at hand, I was prepared to leap up and pretend to be a normal human the moment a stray roommate passed by. AndContinue reading “Dusty Epiphanies From My Living Room Floor”
In your writing adventures, you will be assailed by uncommon perils. Rain, hailstorms, fire, and—worst of all—muses. These terrifying creatures will strike you dead in the heart on a whim. Such an attack can result in paralysis, head trauma, and a fondness for salamanders. All deadly injuries. You must be prepared. And there is noContinue reading “Muses and How to Banish Them to the Nether”
It was the floor’s fault. The uneven lip of my parents’ new hardware flooring is a danger hazard and ought to be lit on fire and banished to the nether. However, it deserves my reluctant appreciation for tripping me up, breaking my toe, and inadvertently curing a bad case of writer’s block. A nasty boutContinue reading “The cure to writer’s block? Break something”