Choosing character names is frustrating. You watch your novel take its first steps full of joy and wonder. Then a nameless character shows up and spoils the fun. You use placeholders. Underscores. Generic names (John. Mary. Joanne, anyone?). But “M____ stabs B____ in the heart and watches his soul slowly drain from his body” doesn’tContinue reading “The Top 5 Name Sites for Writers (and Expectant Parents Probably)”
Plot doesn’t matter. No, really. It doesn’t. Write mindless stories. Character A gets out of bed and eats breakfast. The end. Boring. Now, the same event, but Character A has an existential crisis after getting out of bed. The fluffy purple rug on the floor reminds them of their grandmother, who’s favorite color was purple.Continue reading “It’s Not Important: Ignore Plot”
Prior to domestication, writers command a distinct self with particularities and talents. Somewhere along this blissful path, their souls are squashed by the Inevitable Plague of the Life Crisis. The realization of what one should be dawns.
If writing was a video game, would creativity be the heart containers? A dark grimoire reveals four spells that restore creativity, but at what cost?
Lying on the floor wedged between the bend in the couch and the corner of the coffee table, the dry scent of 10,000 dust mites engulfed my senses. Eyes closed, writing close at hand, I was prepared to leap up and pretend to be a normal human the moment a stray roommate passed by. AndContinue reading “Dusty Epiphanies From My Living Room Floor”
In your writing adventures, you will be assailed by uncommon perils. Rain, hailstorms, fire, and—worst of all—muses. These terrifying creatures will strike you dead in the heart on a whim. Such an attack can result in paralysis, head trauma, and a fondness for salamanders. All deadly injuries. You must be prepared. And there is noContinue reading “Muses and How to Banish Them to the Nether”
Epiphany strikes. The words fly from your fingers. The process like giving birth to a sweet baby child. You fall in love at once, fancying it has your eyes, cheekbones, and all manner of ridiculousness. Writing babies are notoriously manipulative. Their only goal is to sustain their mediocre life lest they fall into the DeepContinue reading “How to overcome demon writing spawn”